Cheryl Cole wrote a will after doctors told her she was on the brink of death with malaria, she revealed last night.
The X Factor star said she had been given just 24 hours to live as she fought the illness in hospital.
During a two-hour interview with Piers Morgan, the singer also spoke openly about the collapse of her marriage to the Chelsea and England footballer Ashley.
She insisted she will ‘always love’ him.
Miss Cole, 27, revealed she still regularly speaks to him, despite his infidelity during their three-and-a-half year marriage. She was granted a divorce in September.
The singer broke down in tears as she said she still believed he was ‘a genuinely nice guy’, adding: ‘Once we get over this obstacle, I hope we can be friends again. A part of me will always love Ashley.’
She said: ‘Looking back on it I feel numb. We had a great marriage and a fantastic wedding day but I don’t know where it went wrong. To this day I still question that.’
Newcastle-born Miss Cole had to miss the ‘boot camp’ stage of the current series of X Factor after falling ill with malaria in July. She was only fit enough to return once the live shows began last weekend.
Miss Cole was joined by her mother Joan and Girls Aloud bandmates Kimberley Walsh and Nicola Roberts, who all wept during the interview as she discussed her battle against the disease.
Doctors had told the star she was close to death after she contracted the illness during a trip to Tanzania.
She admitted drinking three vodkas the night before a photoshoot which left her feeling like she had ‘the worst hangover’.
It turned out to be the start of her struggle with the illness.
In the interview, for Piers Morgan’s Life Stories, she admitted drawing up a will and considering how to divide up her possessions among friends and family.
She told Morgan: ‘I thought I was going to die, I actually thought I was going to die. I thought if I’m going to die I want to die soon because I was in so much pain’.
A source on the programme said: ‘She was given 24 hours to survive and told if her condition did not improve she would die.’
Miss Cole, who earned £1.2million for the last series of The X Factor, also
discussed her relationship with Simon Cowell, adding: ‘I have a connection with him like no one else.
‘He is one of the most important people in my life. He just gets me.’
However she confessed she missed being a ‘regular’ girl.
‘Sometimes I feel completely trapped,’ she said. ‘I just can’t go back to Newcastle and put on tracksuit bottoms and Ugg boots.’