The X Factor season 11 officially kicks off tonight, and here are some streaming links for those of you who don’t live in the UK. It starts at 8pm on ITV tonight, then 9:25pm The Xtra Factor on ITV2. We are immensely excited!

http://www.filmon.com/tv/itv1
http://livetvcafe.net/video/B52828O2BX4G/ITV
http://freetvall.com/video/S73RW46YOHW2/ITV1

Here are some teasers of tonight’s episode:

1. The opening sequence is huge and overblown and ridiculous and fun – and you’ll laugh at Louis Walsh’s line.

2. Simon and Cheryl have plenty of banter – “You know you love me,” he says at one point. We’re not sure she does.

3. One posh contestant – whose hobbies include polo and croquet – gets Mel wishing she could speak like her.

4. Simon describes one moment as the “maddest audition” he’s ever seen. Let’s just say it involves balloons and a lot of food, and leaves Louis Walsh in hysterics.

5. Cheryl gets so much love from the contestants that Mel says: “What am I, chopped liver? I f**king hate sitting next to this one.”

6. There’s a stripper. Probably not the kind Simon was after.

7. One auditionee is so terrible that three of the judges walk out of the room.

8. Another contestant pays tribute to Cheryl with their audition. She might wish they hadn’t (though Simon has a great time).

9. “It’s like you’ve been invented by Louis Walsh on a computer to make the most irritating girl group.”

10. Cheryl cries at a returning auditionee – but which contestant gets Mel B sobbing and saying: “I hate you because you made me cry, and I don’t cry”?